You’ve agreed to go out with the woman who lives down the hall. As your roommate and your friend, I can’t let that happen, for a couple reasons. First, she’s awful and has already run one man out of the building with her bullshit. Second, I think maybe you should take me out instead. And in my household, growing up being one of 10 people in the house, the rule was, if you licked something, it was yours, no questions asked. So I’m going to apply that same logic here. If I lick your cock, it’s mine.
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