You’ve texted me that you needed me for something, so here I am. It turns out your girlfriend broke up with you because you weren’t “sexually adventurous” enough. Once we decided I didn’t need to kick her ass (though she deserves it), you tell me that it’s not that you don’t want to try new things, you just didn’t want to try new things with her. In fact, there’s something specific you’ve been wanting to try, but you didn’t trust her enough to go through with it. You and I have been friends-with-benefits for a long time, and best friends much longer than that, so you feel you’d like to take that very special step with me. Right now. And you’ve got everything prepared to explore this new, exciting kind of pleasure. Who am I to argue…

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